Why Women are Flocking to Mindful Drinking Groups

by Stephanie Exner & Jess Lanz

In 2024, alcohol consumption among women is exhibiting a nuanced trend. While overall drinking rates remain relatively stable, there is a noticeable shift towards mindful and moderate drinking. Many women are increasingly aware of the health implications of alcohol and are choosing to reduce their intake. This shift is influenced by greater public awareness of the negative effects of excessive drinking, more accessible information on health and wellness, and the rising popularity of sober-curious movements. Additionally, there is a growing market for non-alcoholic beverages, providing more options for women seeking to moderate their alcohol consumption.

Noticing this trend among ourselves and members, Harvest Goal Collective launched Mindful Drinking Groups this month. Women attend our mindful drinking groups primarily for social support, self-improvement, and mental health benefits. The groups provide a non-judgmental space where women can share their experiences and challenges related to alcohol consumption.

Participants often seek to reduce or control their drinking to improve their physical health and enhance their emotional well-being. The sense of community and accountability in these groups helps women build healthier habits and cope with stressors. Additionally, many women appreciate the opportunity to connect with others who understand their struggles, fostering a sense of belonging and mutual encouragement.

In our most recent group, Jess Lanz, a seasoned expert in mindful drinking strategies, shared invaluable insights on how to develop a healthier relationship with alcohol. Here are some of the key takeaways from the session:

1. Awareness and Mindfulness: The first strategy is to cultivate awareness and mindfulness. Jess emphasized the importance of noticing our thoughts when we experience a craving and identifying what happened just before the craving emerged. She encouraged us to keep a craving journal and document our thoughts both before and after drinking. This practice helps us understand our triggers and patterns, paving the way for more mindful choices.

What Jess says: Our thoughts are constantly in the background running the show. They create our feelings, which then drive our actions and behaviors. When we have a craving or urge to drink, that’s a feeling in our body that was created by a thought. When we take the time to acknowledge the thoughts that are there, we can question them and whether they’re helping us or hurting us. We can’t change them if we don’t even know what they are.

2. Define Your Goal and Set an Intention: Next, we were advised to define our goals and set clear intentions for our drinking. Whether it's maintaining our current pattern, cutting down, taking a break, or stopping altogether, having a concrete goal helps steer our actions and keeps us motivated.

What Jess says: Just like when you’re taking a road trip & need to know the final destination to plug into the navigation system, it helps to have your mindful drinking goal clearly defined. Your brain will be more responsive to “I’m going to limit my alcohol to 4 pre-planned drinks this week,” for example, rather than “I need to drink less this week.” Not sure what your goal should be? Just pick something and start - there’s no right answer & you can adjust it along the way.

3. Create a Drink Plan: One of the most impactful strategies discussed was creating a drink plan 24 hours in advance. The idea is to decide in advance how much you will drink, if at all, and stick to that plan. This approach helps in managing urges and gives us control over our choices. Jess repeatedly challenged us to embrace the discomfort of urges, explaining that it takes about 100 urges to stop craving alcohol.

What Jess says: When we plan our drinks in advance, we use a part of our brain called the prefrontal cortex that helps with decision making. We never want our lower brain, or our programmed conditioning, to drive our actions. That keeps us stuck in the unhealthy loop of craving-drink-reward which increases our desire.

4. Take Ownership of Your Actions: Taking ownership of our actions was another key point. By acknowledging our choices and their consequences, we empower ourselves to make better decisions. This sense of responsibility is crucial for lasting change.

What Jess says: So many of our beliefs about alcohol have come from society and what we’re told is “normal” through family, friends, social media, movies & TV, etc. We have been told it’s necessary for fun, connection, celebrating, and commiserating. None of these have to be true for you. As an adult with complete agency and authority, you have to understand that no one else can make you drink. If someone is saying “come on, just have one” even after you said no - that is about them, not you. No is always a complete sentence.

5. Track Your Progress and Celebrate Your Wins: Tracking progress and celebrating small wins is essential. Every step forward is a victory, and acknowledging these wins boosts our confidence and keeps us motivated. Jess reminded us that progress is not always linear, and it's okay to have setbacks.

What Jess says: BIG YES to all of this, we need to give ourselves credit when credit is due! I suggest tracking your progress visually, whether it’s in an app or on your calendar or even a separate journal with stickers or gold stars. :) When you can actually SEE your progress it’s positive reinforcement and helps you stay the course.

6. Embrace Imperfection: Not every day will be a win, and that’s perfectly okay. The key is to approach setbacks with curiosity rather than self-judgment. Negative self-talk keeps us stuck in a shame spiral, whereas a curious and mindful approach helps us understand the underlying reasons for our urges and make more informed choices.

What Jess says: It’s common for us humans to want to beat ourselves up when we make mistakes. It’s like we think if we can just feel bad enough about ourselves, THEN we’ll be more motivated to really make a change. NO, this is not how it works! It’s extremely difficult to make lasting changes from a place of shame. When mistakes are made, that is where the real nitty gritty work comes in. Mistakes are the best opportunities to learn. Get curious from a place of love and compassion. What if your best friend, or someone you care deeply about, came to you upset after drinking more than they wanted to? How would you talk to them through it? That’s how you talk to yourself. 

Getting Curious About Urges: Jess concluded by again stressing the importance of getting curious about our urges. Instead of feeling ashamed or frustrated, we should explore what the urge is about and what it's trying to tell us. This mindful curiosity can transform our relationship with drinking and lead to more sustainable and intentional behavior.

This session was a powerful reminder that mindful drinking is not just about reducing alcohol intake; it's about fostering a deeper connection with ourselves and making conscious, empowered choices. Will power alone is not sustainable. Perhaps women collectively around the world have begun to realize this in larger numbers and it's the reason why they're flocking to groups like our Mindful Drinking Group. When we join groups with like-minded peers, we develop more awareness and empathy for the other members and perhaps most importantly, with ourselves. 

What is YOUR relationship with alcohol, and how do you feel about these strategies for being more mindful of it? Share your story and get featured in our next write-up!

Yours,

Stephanie Exner & Jess Lanz

Join Stephanie and friends in our next Mindful Drinking Group by becoming a Harvest Member here.

Jess Lanz is a certified life coach + mindful drinking coach, helping high-achieving women stop overdrinking with a different approach. We don’t focus on WHAT to do, we uncover the root cause of why you drink and work to reduce your desire for alcohol.

Find out more about Jess and how to work with her here www.jesslanzcoaching.com or follow her on instagram at: drinklesswithjess